Day 13: Just Getting Started

This morning I am thinking about timing.  I wonder how I would be handling this Stay Home, Stay Healthy state-wide mandate if it happened in any other decade.  I can imagine each decade in my timeline offering a different challenge and benefit to withstanding a pandemic.  My finances have the character of the Wheel of Fortune- rotating around, up and down, ebb and flow.  However, is there ever a good time for a pandemic?

Thinking about the calendar, happy Palm Sunday for those that observe. Many Christians in my state find it interesting that the mandate started during Lent.  Lent is traditionally 40 days long, in commemoration of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert, before beginning his public ministry, during which he endured temptation by Satan.  The time in the desert prepared Christ for the cross.  Modern followers look inward and prepare their hearts for the coming Christ, on Resurrection Day (Easter).  What a great metaphor for our current situation!

Wondering how THINGS will change on May 5th, when the mandate is over.  A better question is how will PEOPLE to change.  How?  I do not know.  Will folks be more aware, more calm, centered and stronger.  Hoping I will be.  Perhaps, for some, who the pandemic is testing their character and resourcefulness, maybe, in June, when the relief checks show up and the cupboards are full again, perhaps then, they will have the time to look back on April and realize they walked through fire and lived.

One thing is for sure, this is the truth, NONE of us will be the same after this.

1) an observed joy- The food bank in my town is delivering boxes of food to folks in need!

2) a real concern- Watching the national news the other day, they headlined with “A worldwide record. America has the most with the coronavirus!”  Selling fear is not helpful.  This is NOT the number of folks dead like they made it sound.  We are testing MORE people than in other countries at this time.

3) a personal challenge- Finding reliable information for local and statewide is a challenge.  My confidence in our nation’s leaders is almost non-existence.  I do not like the way they are handling the pandemic.

4) one personal success (no matter how small)- I am still writing my journal.

5) a random thought (no matter how silly)- Always in motion, we are.  I stayed inside all day yesterday.  I haven’t done that since October 2018 when I was recovering from a car accident.

Worldwide, as of this post: 1.26 million tested positive (reported),
68,935 are deceased.
Coronavirus Dashboard

Bring It!

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Actress Gabrielle Union from “Bring It On”, 2000

 

Earlier this month I was invited to share some poetry at a poetry event in King County.  The event last all day and on the drive home I was plagued by an overwhelming sense of disappointment.  I tossed the emotion around, examined it frontwards and back trying to figure out where and why I was feeling this way.

Then I remembered that last fall I had a similar experience.  Comparing mental notes about the two events my brain tried to find a connection.  Reflection for me is not only helpful for growth, but it also assists in perfecting my poetry performance.  Poets and writers perform to connect with the literary groups around them, but also, frankly, to sell books.  Performance is something to seriously consider when you read to groups.  You want the audience to understand your message, to hear it, and to feel it.

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line up for the day

 

Some of the similarities between the two “disappointing” events are: I did not share about upcoming events I was planning, and failed to inform the audience where to purchase my books.  Also, I shared a short set of poems, safe poems, and quickly sat down, with little engagement.

THEN…

Then the root of the matter exposed itself.  It wiggled its way through the mire. Took me all weekend but I finally uncovered the core of why I was disappointed.  On both occasions, days prior, while preparing my set, reading the list of other speakers on the agenda, my inner critic spoke, “No one really wants to hear you speak.  They came for the poet laureates and other big names.  Why don’t you be polite and read a short, simple set and let the others have the spotlight?”  I’m here to tell you today, if this voice shows up in your head—ignore it!  DO NOT LISTEN!

If you have been invited to an event to speak, then SPEAK!  Share your heart and soul my writer friend.

Do not hold back.  Share your best work to date. 

Inspire and dazzle and—  

Bring It!

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The BBC’s Dr. Who